And The Band Played On

A very disappointing day at Chez Eunice’s when, earlier this afternoon, it was revealed through DNA test results that in fact, Larry Birkhead and not Eunice is the father of the million dollar maybe baby. Inside sources report that shortly after hearing the announcement, Eunice & her clan were seen scrambling around, desperate for a Plan B money grab to finance her life’s mission of clearing her “wronged” spawn.

So while one question is answered, another remains – what will be Eunice’s next move? What is certain is that there will be a next move and if Easter weekend is any indication, it is also certain to be a doozy! Or in other words, same song, second verse.

Saturday night, while Christians the world over laid out their fresh new Easter outfits and started preparations for their Sunday Easter dinners with family and friends, our Eunice was heard outside the grounds, shooting off her gun at imagined foes. Yes, my friends, He is Risen but she is sinking further and further into her pathological abyss.

I am reminded of the words of Paul Rosenberg, manager extraordinaire of that bundle of joy and member of the most dysfunctional family in modern times, Eminem, to whom he implored; “Leave your gun at home! You can’t take your bleeping gun outside of your home!” Mr. Mathers was smart enough to take Mr. Rosenberg’s advice to heart. One can only hope that Eunice will do the same or by the time July 4th rolls around the fireworks display will take on a whole new meaning. Or in other words, same song, third verse.

One can only wonder how different things might be going for her had she, on that Saturday night and all the other Saturday nights before them, spent it in quiet meditation in anticipation of the next day. Perhaps had she spent more time studying her Bible and her Sunday School lesson and less time loading her gun, her life might at least be in a more peaceful place. Instead Eunice finds herself in the midst of what can only be described as Armageddon on Prozac. All of her own doing, no less. And she wonders why. And she blames everyone else. Or in other words, same song, fourth verse.

We all hope that soon and very soon, by the grace of God, Eunice will hopefully find a new theme song because this one grew quite tiresome a VERY long time ago.