The Glorious Sounds of Silence

Ssh. Can you hear that? That is the sound of silence. That peaceful, soothing, nurturing  place where Eunice doesn’t live! All’s well in Valhalla – for now. We value these respits because we know that at any moment the calm can be sqaushed by the glass shattering shreeks of Eunice and at once Beirut seems like Paradise.  Hell hath no fury like a sleeping Eunice awakened!

It is in these brief moments of serenity when life is good. Ordinary and extraordinary all at once. A normal life lived. Good times.

The kind of existance that Eunice so desperately wishes she could have and hold but long ago she alienated herself from so many people, one by one, until she found herself to be nothing more than an exhausted soldier in an army of one, waging never ending battles against imagined foes. Family & friends stopped calling long ago. It was just too exhausting. And embarrassing.

But at this moment, here in this place,  all is quiet and God is on his throne. Silence trully is golden. Enjoy.

Introducing Eunice

Ladies & Gentlemen it is my pleasure to introduce to you, Eunice!

Remember the sitcom, “Mama’s Family?” Eunice is the Plain Jane,  insecure daughter of “Mama” with an unexplainable & inordinate degree of jealousy against her prettier and more successful sister, Ellen.  So strong is her jealousy and rage that it clouds her judgement in all matters, to comedic levels for all bystanders. At least she’s good for a laugh or two!

We all know someone like Eunice.

They show up at funerals wearing white from head to toe and revel in the attention that they get from it, mistakingly thinking that this is “good” attention.

They believe that seat belt laws are a government conspiracy to take over our lives, never fully understanding that should they ever be involved in an accident,  and receive a head injury, say, (worse than the one they have clearly already received somewhere along the way) it will be the government – ie- us, the taxpayers – that will be covering the cost of her medical bills and rehabilitation.

They believe anything & everything is a government conspiracy.

They lost their grasp on reality years ago and are clueless of this.  Also clueless about why family members, who gave up years earlier trying to explain unexplainable behaviour, for the sake of their own sanity, no longer include them in family functions.

When met with other people’s successes, they console themselves by convincing themselves that those were simply ill gotten gains, acquired only by “sleeping with the boss”  as opposed to hard work on the part of the recipient. .

They are convinced that all problems can be solved by speaking to “the dog whisperer.”

They prefers animals to people because animals can’t fire them.

Refusing to take responsibility for their actions, they will point the finger at anyone in reach to blame, even if it is a complete stranger. Nothing, but nothing is ever their own fault and their trials and tribulations are never of their own doing.

This blog is dedicated to all the Eunices in our world! The ones that should be medicated but aren’t, the ones that could benefit immensly from professional help but won’t. The ones whose lives have spiralled so far out of control that all anyone else can do at this point is stand back and enjoy the show!  Fireworks and all! Just make sure the restraining order is in place and that your valium script is filled because there’s not enough over-the-counter medication in the Western Hemisphere to tackle the headaches that a Eunice can cause.

Advice that Eunice should take but won’t:

There is a huge difference between bad attention and good attention.

We have two ears and only one mouth for a reason.

You can’t blame your parents for everything.

More often than not, we can find success by simply getting out of our own way.

The voices you hear inside your head are not real.

Drop us a line. Share your own Eunice story! Although be prepared. There’s no Eunice like our Eunice!