Open House – Today!

Eunice is pleased to announce that she will be holding an “Open House” today between the hours of 12noon and 4PM. Friends and family are invited to join her at her lovely estate for a time of fellowship & refreshments. Guests are encouraged to bring their bug spray and boots are optional!

While feasting on appetizers and fine regional wines (Little Debbies & Mogan David) guests will be given a tour of the grounds of the Helter Skelter Animal Shelter.

A lively presentation will be given by the Guest of Honor, Dr. Lou P. Inthehead, of the famed Sanitorium, Dewey Treatem & Howe. The topic of discussion will be the latest forms of non-invasive Bi-Polar Therapies for both master & beast, entitled, “The Fool & Her Feline.”

Rumored to also be making an appearance, is The Dog Whisperer, offering much needed advice and insight on the global conspiracy involved in the recent tainted dog & cat food recalls. Anyone with concerns regarding their pet foods surely won’t want to miss what promises to be a very timely and lively discussion. Those of you currently in possession of questionable dog & cat foods are welcomed to drop those foods at The Helter Skelter Animal Shelter.

Given Eunice’s pathological need to have her palms greased, this Palm Sunday event is surely one not to be missed! And don’t forget to pick up your parting gifts, designed by Eunice herself; melamine & wheat gluten based dog biscuits. See you there!